


Forevermore

by Mai_Blade



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Tragedy, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Dysfunctional Family, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Rating will change, Reader Has A Name, Reader is Sasuke's Twin, Reader is Someone's Sister, Reader is Uchiha Hotaru, Reader-Insert, Teen Romance, Uchiha Massacre, Underage warning for later, because Uchiha, hence the warning, there will be smut later, will add more Underage tags later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 07:16:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16614377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mai_Blade/pseuds/Mai_Blade
Summary: "The sky is too vast for a person to live alone."Words that Aburame Shino need never say.





	1. Our Early Days, Those Golden Days

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. So... new fic.
> 
> [doors and windows boarded against horde of readers screaming fic names]
> 
> Reader is reincarnated from some world (ours, another, IDGAF b/c it's not important and will never come up) and has no memories of her past life. I should probably just call her an OC at this point, BUT I WON'T. Other people have Reader as Sasuke's sister, so I'm jumping on the band wagon too. Honestly speaking, I like making Reader someone's sister. :P
> 
> In case you were wondering, no, Reader will not be some great kunoichi. She's just one of the Last Uchiha who's going to be madly in love with Shino, and her dream is to be Shino's wife.
> 
> Because Shino is great.
> 
> Also, I want someone to be mad at Sasuke **forever**. :D
> 
> EDIT: Changed the title and summary, but I'm still not happy with the story title.

**”You love me. Real or not real?”**

**I tell him, "Real.”**

**~Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay**

* * *

**Twins**

Itachi stood in the doorway of the room where his younger siblings slept. It was still full day outside, but their mother had put them to sleep for an afternoon nap. Stepping further into the room, he was careful to slide the door shut quietly as to not disturb their rest.

Silently walking over to them, Itachi knelt down and gazed at the sleeping twins. Despite the fact that they had been alive for over two years now, they never ceased to fascinate him. These two small children were his siblings, his little brother and his litter sister!

Feeling his heart squeeze with love, Itachi silently vowed to protect Sasuke and Hotaru for as long as he lived.

* * *

**Daughter**

Mikoto dearly loved all her children, but she had a special spot in her heart for her only daughter. Itachi, despite his young age, was busy due to his genius, and Sasuke, adoring of his elder brother, was already chasing after him. However, Hotaru rarely wandered far from Mikoto and would clamber onto her lap at any given opportunity.

Right now was a perfect example. Mikoto, taking a break from the housework to drink a cup of tea, had barely finished sitting down before Hotaru was there, smiling guilelessly as she settled down against her. Mikoto knew that she should be encouraging her daughter to practice being independent, but she had to admit that it was nice to have one of her babies settle against her.

“Oh Hotaru,” she sighed, brushing away a lock of dark hair from the little girl’s face. She smiled gently. “What am I going to do with you?”

If she could, Mikoto would want to keep this one close to her always.

* * *

**Face**

Sasuke was standing still, trying not to blink too much as his sister had requested to ‘borrow his eyes’. She was staring into one of his eyes, saying she could see herself in it. He believed her, because he could see himself in hers. This was weird, but mostly because his sister now touching her face as though she had never seen it before.

“Stop,” he finally said, closing his eyes and taking a step back. He blinked until his eyes didn’t feel dry anymore, and then he looked back at his sister with a frown. “What was that for?”

She was still pressing her hands against her cheeks. “…This face feels wrong.”

Sasuke tilted his head. “What?”

“This is not my right face.”

He rolled his eyes. “What other face do you have?”

She folded her arms and frowned. “I don’t know. It feels wrong, but I don’t know why.”

“Forget it,” he advised. He patted her head. “This is your only face, okay?”

She pouted at him before finally nodding.

“Okay.”

* * *

**Future**

“Mom?”

Mikoto lowered her tea cup at the sound of her daughter’s voice. Hotaru hadn’t touched her own tea yet and merely stared at it. “Yes, Hotaru?”

Her daughter was silent for a moment before speaking in a low voice, almost whispering.

“Do I have to be a kunoichi?”

Oh. Oh dear. Mikoto had been wondering what was weighing on her daughter’s mind, and to think it was this.

“Your father is the clan head. That his children will become shinobi is expected.”

“I don’t want to be a kunoichi.”

“You can always settle down after you get married. I did.”

“But I have to be a kunoichi first, right?”

Well, of course.

* * *

**Precious**

Itachi sighed as his siblings warred over his lap. They were currently grasping hands and trying to push the other away as they vied for the opportunity to sit on him.

“You always hog big brother!”

“So? You always hog mom!”

“It’s my turn to sit on his lap!”

“Says who?”

And so on.

Finally, Itachi sighed and pulled both of them close, surprising them into letting go of each other. They grumbled under their breath as they shared him, but neither one left. Feeling them settle against him, Itachi smiled and wished they could go on like this forever.

* * *

**Reluctance**

When the day finally came for the twins to attend the academy, Itachi could tell that only Sasuke was truly looking forward to it. His little sister was quiet, more so than usual as she held their mother’s hand. Father was ‘unable’ to attend, but Itachi and Mikoto were there, and of the twins, only Sasuke seemed to miss their father’s presence.

It was no secret to Itachi that his little sister didn’t want to be a kunoichi, but this fate was unavoidable for her. It pained him that she didn’t have any other choice, but at least he had the small comfort that she could someday retire as their mother and other kunoichi had. He could definitely see his little sister being a housewife someday, away from dangerous missions and battlefields.

( _but he knows there’s no such thing as permanent retirement_ )

When the twins depart to join the crowd of students, both of them look back to smile and wave.

Itachi is sure his mother notices how brittle Hotaru’s smile is too.

* * *

**Popular**

Somehow, you are not surprised by how popular your twin becomes, but you do admit to yourself that it is tiring. Hearing girls squeal over Sasuke is annoying, and trying to fend off their questions is just… ugh. You stick as close to him as you can, mainly because it’s easier to keep the other students away. It doesn’t help that he uses you as a buffer when it comes to seating arrangements (him on one end, you in the middle, and some random student—usually one of his fans—on the other end).

Sasuke is better than you at everything, which is good for his ego but not so much for your self-esteem. On the other hand, he does insist that you do better than the other girls, though you consider competing against Sakura in academics as a lost cause because civilian or not, that girl is _smart_.

It’s been a little over a month since the first day, and lunch break is upon you once again. Mom’s bento boxes are great, though since she’s agreed to teach you, half the contents of your box are stuff you’ve made yourself. Half of Sasuke’s lunch is the same, and he hasn’t dared complain after the first time when you cried to Itachi about it and he’d been given a ‘talk’ by your shared elder brother. There are a few girls next to Sasuke’s seat, asking him if he would like to eat lunch with them, but, of course, your twin refuses.

Sitting outside, your brother wastes little time before he’s eating as quickly as he can without being vulgar. You eat sedately, mind half-wandering through this morning’s lessons, and it isn’t long before Sasuke is done and leaves you with a quiet update on where he’s going. He’s obsessed with chasing after Itachi, but you are more realistic and don’t see the point in straining yourself to catch up to a shooting star when you know it’s impossible (at least for you, though since Sasuke’s a boy and determined, you give him better odds than yourself).

A shadow falls over you, and you see that it’s the Yamanaka girl, Ino. When she sits down and begins talking, you sigh internally and curse Sasuke for leaving you.

Why did _you_ have to deal with his fans?

* * *

**Bugs**

Annoyed with your brother, you purposefully wait until lunch break is nearly over before you return to class. By then the seats nearest to him have been taken, but you’ve sort of dropped the kunai on your own foot because the only seat left open is the one next to Bug Boy.

Technically, Bug Boy is named Shino Aburame, but you can’t help defaulting to the nickname the other girls gave him when they found out that he has bugs in his body. When you asked mom about it, she told you that the Aburame clan uses insect-based techniques. You _hated_ bugs because they were creepy, and while you hadn’t said ‘Bug Boy’ aloud yet, that was what you called Shino in your mind.

Glancing at your brother as you passed by him, he caught your eye and smirked, knowing full well that you hated bugs and that only seat left was next to Shino. You scowled and looked away from him, resolutely walking to your seat and sitting down.

That you sat closer to the edge of the desk and thus further away from Shino was noticed by him.

* * *

**Crawl**

It was break time before the last lesson before the end of the day and Shino was doing that _thing_ again where he let bugs crawl over his desk. Trying valiantly not to stare or shudder, you kept your eyes firmly staring forward.

Shino paid you no mind.

* * *

**Extra**

Mom tells you that you will eventually take kunoichi lessons in the academy, something that the boys don’t have to do. You think that’s unfair since that’s extra work for the girls, but mom just laughs when you say so.

Your big brother Itachi is a genius who doesn’t seem to need anybody’s help, but Sasuke isn’t, though he’s picky in who he wants to teach him. You get annoyed that he turns down mom’s help so easily, but on the other hand that means you don’t have to share her when she teaches you.

Mom was a kunoichi once, and she’s the one who teaches you. What skills you have are the fruit of her attentions, and while you can’t beat Sakura in test scores, you can beat her in everything else. Mom won’t let you handle real kunai yet, which is good because otherwise your hands would be covered in cuts.

Flower arranging and calligraphy are your least favorite subjects, though. You hate having to remember the meanings of flowers, and your calligraphy is a sore point for you.

“Practice and perseverance,” mom says.

It’s easy for her because she’s great at everything.

How can you measure up to half the woman she is?

* * *

**Love**

Of your family members, you love mom the most, followed by Itachi, and then Sasuke. Father is your least favorite family member, and it shows. You don’t notice, but everyone else does. 

Mikoto silently despairs at the lack of affection between father and daughter because she knows that Fugaku loves her, but Hotaru only sees him as a distant figure. Itachi knows that Sasuke is glad their sister isn’t competing with him for father’s attention, but Itachi can’t help the slight heartache that comes at the thought that Hotaru doesn’t love someone in their own family. Sasuke, while initially resentful that his sister didn’t adore their father the same way he did, prefers that his twin is distant from their father. Fugaku himself can only stare at the daughter who barely speaks to him at all unless prompted, and he knows that this isn’t something he can fix, not with his attention demanded as it is by other things and his eldest son’s progress.

To you, father is a stern man who barely spares either you or Sasuke a glance, so other than answering what few questions he directs your way, you hardly interact with the man at all.

You completely miss the subtle hints that Fugaku wants to talk with you and just doesn’t know how to.

* * *

**Loud**

By now, you know who the loudmouths in your year are. Most of your classmates are loud in some way, but Kiba and Naruto are at the top of that heap. You quite dislike it when they cause a commotion.

Sitting next to Sasuke again, you complain. “Why are they so loud?”

“Because they’re idiots,” your twin grins disdainfully where the two loudmouths are being lectured by the teacher.

“…Still not as bad as your fans, though.”

You laughed quietly under your breath as your twin winced. He didn’t dispute it, though.

* * *

**Opportunity**

Hotaru nodded off before dinner. Mikoto felt a little guilty about that since her training was the reason her daughter was currently asleep on the floor, but a sense of accomplishment kept her from feeling too guilty. After all, Hotaru’s training was coming along quite nicely, and Mikoto couldn’t truly bring herself to feel bad about that.

A gruff call from the entrance distracted her from her dinner preparations, and she wiped her hands on her apron as she went to greet her husband. It was rare that he was home at this time of day, but she welcomed it.

As she turned away, inspiration suddenly hit her. Fugaku hadn’t held Hotaru since she was a toddler, and wasn’t there a perfect opportunity at this very moment?

Smiling fondly, Mikoto watched as Fugaku picked Hotaru up off the floor and carried her to her bedroom. Seeing her daughter sleepily cling to her father was almost unbearably bittersweet.

Fugaku didn’t speak after they left Hotaru’s room with their daughter safely on her futon, but the slight smile at the corners of his lips said everything.

* * *

**Witness**

Sasuke saw father carrying Hotaru. Mom was there too, but the main thing was that _father carried Hotaru_. Hotaru didn’t even seem to like dad, so why was he carrying her? Why couldn’t mom, or why couldn’t they wait to let Itachi do it? 

Having Itachi carry Hotaru wouldn’t hurt nearly as much as seeing dad do that.

* * *

**Anger**

Sasuke was angry with you, but you couldn’t fathom why. What had you done to make him mad? You couldn’t remember doing anything in particular. You hadn’t argued with him, nor had you outperformed him at the academy as even the latest paper test score had yours just below his. You hadn’t been particularly demanding of Itachi’s time either, what with being busy with mom. Maybe he was mad because of all the time you spent with her?

“Your brother seems upset with you,” Shino commented from the middle of the desk during break. “Why? Because he deliberately took a seat where the others were occupied, leaving you to find your own seat away from him.”

“He probably regrets it now,” you said, staring where a star struck girl was leaning into his personal bubble. You sighed and closed your eyes as you folded your arms. “I can’t even think of anything I might have done recently, either…”

* * *

**Grudge**

Things haven’t been well between you and your twin lately. You tried inviting him along to your training sessions with mom, but that only seemed to irritate him. Spending less time with mom didn’t work either, and mom soon dragged you back to her anyway. You just couldn’t figure out what was up with him, and you couldn’t ask Itachi for advice either as Sasuke was always nearby whenever you saw your eldest brother.

It wasn’t nice to have Sasuke angry with you, but when he rebuffed your fifth attempt to get him to tell you why, you got angry right back at him and called him a stubborn fool. That started a shouting match that had mom coming into the argument to separate you two. Sasuke ended up stalking off while mom got you some tea.

You told her that Sasuke was acting weird and seemed mad at you, but you didn’t know why. She didn’t seem to know either, but she told you to have patience. She would try to talk with Sasuke, or even get Itachi’s help if it came to that.

Sighing, you told her okay.

* * *

**Envy**

Sasuke wouldn’t talk to her, so Mikoto got Itachi to look into it. Her eldest returned and informed her that Sasuke was feeling jealous because he had seen father carrying Hotaru. Itachi had talked to Sasuke and hopefully things would smooth out between the twins.

Mikoto hoped so. For all the way the twins like to do things their own way, when they fought like this, they missed each other. More than once, either Sasuke or Hotaru would glance behind them, words half-out of their mouths before they remembered that the other was away from them. In those moments, they looked so lost and heartbroken.

She didn’t want them to be avoiding each other when they so obviously missed their twin.

* * *

**Apology**

For the first time in days, Sasuke didn’t stomp or run ahead of you. He kept pace the whole way to the academy, and when you finally arrived at class, he paused just inside the doorway.

“Where do you want to sit?”

The question surprised you, but while he didn’t meet your gaze, your twin still waited for your answer. Feeling a warmth in your chest when he didn’t get impatient and leave you standing alone, you chose a spot with two free seats open.

You took the middle seat, and when your twin sat beside you, you knew things were going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Underage tags will be added later when this story gets into the second part of Naruto. The Underage warning will be applicable at some point during that part, though I will give plenty of warning and will also make the smut chapter(s) separate so you can skip those if you don't want to read them.
> 
> Let's see, I think that's everything... Questions? Aside from WTF? :)


	2. In Brother's Distance, A Friend Made

**A friend may be waiting behind a stranger's face.**

**~Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter**

* * *

**Bewildering**

You were sitting alone, halfway through your lunch when some boy came over to you. As you were sitting and he was standing, he loomed over you as he stammered through a self-introduction. Behind him, you could see at least two other boys, probably his friends, peering from around a tree and not at all subtly goading (encouraging?) him on.

“…Hello,” you finally offered. This boy’s first question had been to confirm your name, so you didn’t offer your name in return since he already knew it. “Did you want something?”

He grinned bashfully, a red flush on his face. “Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come play Ninja with us?”

You glanced at the boys peeking around the tree, sending them back into hiding, and then back at the boy whose name you had already forgotten. This was just a civilian boy and it was likely that a friendship with him wouldn’t be approved of. Besides which, you didn’t feel like getting to know this stranger, so you declined and went back to eating.

“No, thank you.”

“Ah, okay…”

The boy trudged off and soon you heard his friends alternating between making fun of him and calling you names for not joining them, though they probably didn’t intend for the name calling to reach your ears. You heard the boy defend you and soon they were scuffling and then off on a chase of some kind.

You don’t know what that was about, but you hoped it wouldn’t happen again.

* * *

**Restriction**

After two weeks of being approached by boys you didn’t know, you started sticking closer to Sasuke and that meant watching him train and helping him pick up the blunted kunai he used for target practice. Eventually though, you couldn’t stop yourself from complaining to mom and asking her for advice on how to make strange boys stay away.

She laughed, making you blush and yell. “Mom!”

“I’m sorry for laughing, Hotaru,” mom said, still smiling. “It’s just that you seem to be oblivious to the obvious.”

You tilted your head. “What do you mean?”

She patted the floor next to you, prompting you to crawl over to her. Once you were sitting beside her, she put her hand on your head. “Hotaru, you are a pretty child. Those boys, they probably like you.”

You frowned. “But I don’t like them?”

“Then you should keep your distance as you have already been doing. Your father would never approve of you marrying outside the clan. Being friends is the most you can give, Hotaru. Remember that, okay?”

* * *

**Distant**

“Does big brother seem different to you?”

You blinked at Sasuke’s question, looking up from where you were practicing your bad calligraphy. “What do you mean?”

Sasuke pouted, staring down at the table between you two. “I mean that he’s busier than ever! We hardly ever get to see him outside of dinner time, and sometimes not even then!”

You thought about it. “…Wow. You’re right.” You set down your brush and frowned. “I guess he’s just busy with training and missions.”

Sasuke’s pout turned into a scowl. “I don’t like it. Every time I ask him to help me train, he just pokes my forehead and says ‘Sorry, Sasuke’, before disappearing to who knows where.”

You rubbed your own forehead, wondering when the last time was when Itachi did that to you. Training with mom and practicing your calligraphy took up most of your time outside of the academy so you hadn’t really noticed big brother’s absence. Now that it had been brought to your attention, this distance was intolerable.

Meeting your twin’s eyes, you asked, “Do you have a plan?”

Sasuke smirked. “He can’t turn both of us down!”

Sadly, Itachi could.

* * *

**Mother**

Mom’s name was Mikoto. She used to be a jounin before she married father, and then she retired to be a housewife and raise his children. She fought in the Third Great Shinobi War and survived. She was beautiful and graceful, and she loved her family.

You loved her. If you had to choose any one person out of your family who could live while the others would die, you would choose her. You know she would want you to choose one of your brothers, probably Sasuke, but you would still choose her.

She was teaching you various skills, including mundane ones such as cooking. You faithfully drank up everything she taught you because you wanted to be like her. You wanted to be beautiful, and graceful, and capable. When you got married, you wanted to be a good housewife and good mother so that you wouldn’t shame her.

You told her this and it made her smile. She pulled you close to her side and made you a promise.

“When you get older, I’ll teach you what I know about taking care of babies, okay?”

You smiled into her side, inhaling her familiar scent as you happily agreed. “Okay.”

* * *

**Guiltless**

Sasuke seemed shaken one day, and when you asked him about it, he pulled your aside and spoke in a low voice. He told you of a scene he had just witnessed, of other Uchiha accusing Itachi of murdering Shisui. You gasped into your hands, eyes wide as you shook your head.

“Itachi wouldn’t do that!”

Shisui was his best friend!

Sasuke stared down at the ground. “That’s what big brother said. He said he didn’t do it, but… I saw a scary look in his eyes, sis.”

You grabbed your twin’s hands, making him meet your gaze in surprise. You fiercely told him, “Itachi didn’t murder Shisui. The big brother we know wouldn’t do that, so he didn’t! I don’t know what happened, but Itachi didn’t murder Shisui, okay?”

Sasuke stared at you for a long moment before the surprise melted away and he smiled slightly. “Yeah, you’re right. Itachi wouldn’t kill his best friend.”

You beamed. “Right!”

Sasuke frowned and stared off to the side. “But something weird is going on, don’t you think? Things seem kind of tense around the compound…”

“They do?”

Your reply made Sasuke roll his eyes and pull his hands away. “Don’t you notice anything? I swear, someone could run past you without clothes on and I think all you’d do is _maybe_ wonder why they were running.”

You pushed him as you both walked. “I am not that oblivious!”

Sasuke just laughed as he pushed you back and ran off. “You are!”

You gave chase. “Am not!”

* * *

**Unshakeable**

Itachi, having listened to his siblings from the roof, resisted the urge to put his face in his hands.

Why did Hotaru think that much of him? Of the twins, he saw her the least. He didn’t doubt her love for him, but somehow, despite his lack of contact with him recently, she still believed in his love for his friends and his family. In her eyes, he wasn’t capable of murdering his best friend so she brushed off the accusations brought against him. Even Sasuke’s doubts didn’t shake her faith in their big brother.

Was that her love, or just willful blindness?

Regardless, Itachi found himself as determined as ever to protect both her and Sasuke. 

Whatever it took, he had to make sure they lived.

* * *

**Insects**

Running late one day, you and Sasuke barely arrive in time for the start of class. It’s your bad luck that you have to sit at separate desks, but you both do so without a word. This is how you find yourself sitting next to Bug Boy again, and sure enough, during break, he lets bugs crawl around on the desk in front of him.

It’s gross, but since it’s a stable of his clan, you refrain from commenting negatively. Kiba and Naruto are being noisy at separate points in the class, and unfortunately Kiba was at the desk in front of yours. Meanwhile, your twin was steadfastly ignoring the girls that congregated around him, futilely vying for his attention. That Nara boy is sleeping again, and the Akimichi boy next to him was eating chips. The Hyuga heiress was sitting by herself, as per usual, and everyone else was either chatting with their friends or sitting alone in boredom. Glancing at Shino, you see him staring avidly at the bugs on the desk.

You blame boredom for the question that fell from your mouth.

“So you like bugs?”

Shino shifted, ever so slightly turning his head in your direction. “Entomology is my hobby. Why? Because my clan uses insect-based techniques. I find the study of insects to be fascinating.”

“I see,” you said slowly. “How many kinds of insects are there, anyway?”

“That is unknown. Why? Because the world is vast. In the village alone there are only—“

Kiba cut in, obnoxiously yelling, “No one cares!”

You frowned down at him. “Neither of us asked for your opinion, Inuzuka.”

Kiba groaned. “I’ve been your classmate for ages, Hotaru! Why won’t you call me by my name?”

“We are not on friendly terms,” you replied tersely. “Don’t call me by my name. Why? Because I haven’t given you permission!”

He stared at you with a dumbfounded expression before pointing an accusing finger at Shino. “You poisoned her!”

And then suddenly Sasuke was right next to you, eyes wide as he grabbed your face. “ _Who poisoned you?_ ”

Kiba yelled, “Shino did!”

The bugs had disappeared from Shino’s desk by this time. Sasuke let go of your face and leaned forward, glaring at Shino, demanding, “What did you do to my sister?”

The girls squealed at how cool he was for jumping to your defense.

Sasuke and Kiba continued yelling at Shino while you hid your face in your hands.

Why was this happening?

* * *

**Intrigued**

Shino knew that the other students didn’t like him very much. Kiba thought that he was too nitpicky and most of the others were put off by his kikaichu. Hotaru Uchiha didn’t seem to like his insects either, but she had yet to either scream at him or run away from him. He hadn’t thought much of her beyond the fact that she was the most physically capable kunoichi in their class, but their conversation today had been… interesting, short though it was.

He didn’t care for the loud yelling, and she hadn’t made things any better by yelling at her twin that Shino himself hadn’t ‘poisoned’ her as Kiba claimed, but she did eventually defend him against Kiba’s accusation. Now Sasuke was annoyed with Kiba and had pulled his sister to go sit with him, easily convincing the girl that had been sitting next to him to trade spots. Truthfully, Shino would have preferred that it was Hotaru still sitting next to him as the new girl sat as far from him as she could without leaving the desk.

As the day ended and his classmates dispersed, Shino stared at Hotaru as she left, trailing close to her brother. He reflected on their interactions so far and realized that of everyone in the class, she seemed to tolerate him the most. She was better at sharing a desk with him now, sitting closer to him rather than at the end of the seat, and now she was even asking him questions. If it hadn’t been for Kiba, would she have continued talking to him about insects?

Intrigued, Shino resolved to talk to Hotaru more and see if a friendship would form.

* * *

**Bemusing**

Shino was being weird. Well, he was always strange, really, but recently he had taken to talking to you outside of the classroom. At lunch, after Sasuke had gone—you had stopped following him as the other boys had stopped coming up to you, but now Shino was happening—and he would talk to you about insects. Shino wasn’t loud, and he didn’t blush and stammer like those other boys did, so you politely listened to him and sometimes asked questions. It seemed as though all he wanted to talk to you about were insects.

Sasuke somehow caught on to this development and started insisting that you follow him around so that Shino would stay away. This worked, but sometimes it couldn’t be helped that you and Sasuke couldn’t sit together. Not sitting with Sasuke usually meant sitting with Shino, a fact that Sasuke didn’t seem to like as he would glare at Shino from his seat.

“Your brother doesn’t seem to like me,” Shino observed. “Why? Because he is obviously making an attempt to keep you away from me.”

You processed this information but it didn’t make sense. “Why, though? You didn’t actually poison me or hurt me. We’re more or less even in taijutsu lessons, and getting hurt in those lessons is expected. I don’t hold a grudge against you either, so I have no idea why Sasuke is being like this.”

“Perhaps he is just being overly protective,” Shino mused.

“Well, you’re not a bully, so Sasuke is just wasting his efforts.”

After that, Shino continued to talk to you, but you didn’t really know why. Because of this, you ended up learning a lot more about insects than you ever cared to know.

Didn’t really help you get over being grossed out about them, though.

* * *

**Fire**

Father brought you and Sasuke out to a dock. The intention was to see whether or not either of you could do the Great Fireball Technique. He told you both of the hand signs and then gave a demonstration, spewing a great fireball over the pond that made both you and Sasuke shield your faces with your arms. He told you and Sasuke to give it a try.

Sasuke tried first but was unable to produce more than form a few flickering flames. He looked crushed and the blank look on father’s face didn’t help any.

“Stand back, Sasuke. Let your sister try.”

He obeyed and you stepped forward, stomach churning in nerves. If Sasuke couldn’t do it, what chance did you have?

_‘Hotaru, you and Sasuke are twins, but you are also two separate people.’_

Mom’s words echoed in your head and you slapped your face with both hands. Hadn’t she taught you chakra control, both theory and practice? This was the time to show the results of her efforts!

Your hands formed the signs as you channeled chakra to your mouth. Boar! Horse! Tiger!

The fireball you formed wasn’t even half as grand as father’s, but it beat Sasuke’s by a wide margin. The jutsu ended, and you spun around with a smile on your face and your heart racing in your chest.

And cold ice plunged formed in your veins as you saw the devastated look on Sasuke’s face.

“Well done, Hotaru.”

You flinched at father’s words and your eyes went up to his. He met your gaze for a brief moment before he turned and started walking away.

“Sasuke, continue your efforts. You could learn from your sister’s diligence.”

You mentally cried out, asking your father why he would say such a thing. Sasuke was going to hate you!

Your worst fears seemed realized as, once again, Sasuke put distance between himself and you, rebuffing your attempts to either talk to him or join him. He told you to stop following him, and you felt your heart breaking.

Why did he have to get angry when you did better than him? You weren’t that petty, you congratulated him when he succeeded, and you hoped that he would do the same. It seemed that your twin still had a lot of growing up to do.

* * *

**Names**

You were tired of Sasuke’s pettiness. He wanted to ignore you? Fine! You could ignore him right back.

Of course, it was obvious to your classmates that the two of you were on outs again. Sasuke’s fans were of two camps: one side wanted you to make up with him, and the other camp wanted you to give them information so _they_ could comfort him. This resulted in you being on outs with nearly every girl in class, the only exception being Hinata as she wasn’t one of Sasuke’s fans. Most of the boys didn’t care and the only exception there seemed to be Shino, though he was more on your side than Sasuke’s.

“Are you afraid of insects?”

Sitting outside with Shino, his question came out of nowhere. Thinking about it as you packed away your empty bento, you answered him truthfully. “I think so. The thought of them crawling on me doesn’t exactly fill me with glee.”

“Then why do you continue to associate with me? Is it because of your continued quarrel with your brother?”

You leaned back against the tree you were sitting under and looked up at the leaves above you. “It’s not just that, Aburame. You’re not loud like most of the other boys, or lazy like the Nara boy. You don’t seem to be hanging out with me because of my clan, or because you want to get close to my twin. I guess it comes down to the fact that you don’t annoy me. In fact, I rather like that you’re so serious and straightforward. There’s no weird guessing games with you, and that’s the bottom line. Uh, sorry if that came out weird or mean. I don’t mean it to be.”

“I am not offended,” Shino replied from his side of the tree where he was standing. “Why? Because you gave me a candid answer to my questions. Your reply is not disagreeable with me.”

A breeze rustled the leaves overhead. It wasn’t quiet, not with nearly everyone outside at the same time, but it was peaceful in this little bubble with Shino.

“Would you agree that we are on friendly terms?”

You grinned slightly at his question, staring at a group playing Ninja. “I would.”

“Then may I have your permission to call you by your name? I would grant the same in return.”

Surprised, you turned your gaze over in his direction and leaned forward so that you could see him. He was facing your direction now, one hand against the tree as he waited for your answer. His sunglasses made it hard to tell, but you thought he was meeting your eyes.

He wanted to call you by your name? Well, it was true that he had called you ‘Uchiha’ thus far and that you had only ever called him ‘Aburame’ aloud. Did this mean that he wanted to be friends?

The thought made you break out into a smile.

“You have it, Shino.”

He nodded. “Thank you, Hotaru.”


	3. I Loved Her, I Hate Him

**I hate rarely, though when I hate, I hate murderously.**

**~Anaïs Nin**

* * *

**Cold**

“Hotaru! Hotaru!”

Sasuke sounded happy. 

You kept your eyes forward as he bounded into the room and sat down at the table where you were practicing your calligraphy. Mom said you had made good progress and you had to admit that your writing was much improved. Still, you could always do better, thus you had continued practicing.

“Hotaru, guess what? I finally managed the Grand Fireball Technique! Father acknowledged me!”

You said nothing as you dipped the brush into the inkwell and proceeded to write the kanji for ‘patience’.

“Hotaru?”

Oh, he had the _nerve_ to sound confused. Why shouldn’t you feel angry enough to ignore him when he’s been little but prickly and cold towards you since you did the Grand Fireball Technique? He hurt your feelings first and he still hasn’t apologized, so you weren’t going to welcome him back just like that. No, if he wanted your attention again he was going to have to apologize for his behavior first.

“Don’t ignore me, Hotaru.” Sasuke sounded annoyed. “Are you mad because my Grand Fireball Technique was bigger than yours? Because it was!”

The last stroke of the kanji was ruined as your hand froze. Carefully, you set the brush down on a plate before raising a frigid glare at your twin. You took some pleasure in the way he flinched.

“I am not angry if you have outperformed me, Sasuke. I have _never_ been angry at you for that. No, I’m angry because of your childish pettiness over my performing well before you! I did the Grand Fireball Technique on my first try, but were you happy for me? No! You got angry because father praised me! You pushed me away and would barely _speak_ to me, Sasuke.”

You exhaled and turned your head away.

“I never treated you that way. When you did well, I was glad for you. All I wanted was the same _from_ you. Instead, I got your jealousy and envy.”

You stood and turned your back on him.

“You don’t get to give me the silent treatment and then come back without so much as an apology. I won’t accept that kind of shoddy treatment from anyone who isn’t father, and even then only because he is the head of our family. Until you apologize for hurting me, I don’t want to talk with you.”

There was silence and he seemed to be holding his tongue, so you swept out of the room.

Sasuke could only stare at your back in shock.

* * *

**Quality**

The girls in class wouldn’t have anything to do with you once you made it known that _no_ , you would not be making up with Sasuke. He was their idol and they hated to see him ‘suffering’, but none of them would go as far as bullying you. They would plead at most and when that didn’t work they refused to talk to you unless it was necessary for class. Only Hinata didn’t join them, and again you knew that was because she wasn’t one of Sasuke’s fans.

“Hotaru,” Shino greeted as usual.

“Shino,” you acknowledged, taking the seat next to him. You ignored Sasuke’s general direction.

“I will not pry,” Shino said. “Why? Because people do not like being asked about their personal matters. However, Hotaru, if you would like, I will lend an ear to listen.”

His offer made you smile slightly. “Thanks, Shino. I’ll keep that in mind.”

As class started, you realized that aside from Shino, you didn’t really have friends. Most girls were preoccupied with getting closer to Sasuke so you no longer trusted any girl, and the only girl you knew who wasn’t your twin’s fan was from a rival clan and too shy to approach you besides. As for the boys, you didn’t have patience to deal with their rambunctiousness or general immaturity, and the boys from the clan compound were mostly concerned with getting stronger. Shino was the only person your age who was tolerable and even that was a bit of a stretch because of the bug thing. 

Still, better that it was only Shino than a bunch of sycophants. At least with him you knew where you stood.

…Mostly.

* * *

**Hobby**

“What does entomology entail?”

Shino continued staring at the bug on his finger. “It entails the study of insects and their relationship to humans, the environment, and other organisms. There are multiple points to study. I myself prefer to catalogue the insects I encounter, and I am currently working on a breeding project in hopes of creating a new strain of insects, or at least a strain with a new ability. Why? Because insects fascinate me with their diversity, functions and forms.”

The two of you had retreated from the grounds to hang out just outside a window. It wasn’t allowed, but no one had come yet to kick you off the roof. Wait, teachers wouldn’t kick you off, so… no one had come yet to drag you both back inside.

“So I suppose that means you handle bugs a lot? As in, with your hands?”

“Where it is safe to do so, yes. Other times I must use equipment to protect either myself or the specimen.”

You paled. “I don’t think I could ever manage that.”

From the corner of your eye, you saw Shino shift his head. When you looked, you saw his head had turned towards you.

“Do you kill insects of any kind, Hotaru?”

And now he sounded a little scary.

“No. I usually just run away.”

He looked down at the bug on his hand and as you watched more crawled out of his sleeve.

Thankfully, before anything else could happen, Iruka suddenly appeared to yell at you both, ordering you back inside. Complying, you meekly promised not to do that again and your teacher let you return to the classroom.

“Not all insects are dangerous.”

You laughed weakly. “It’s not like I can tell the difference.”

Glancing back, you saw his sunglasses glint.

“I can teach you.”

Um… was there a way to refuse without hurting his feelings? Most people would say that Shino doesn’t have feelings, but you knew better. He had blandly commented about being left out of things more than once in regards to the other students, so you knew he was (probably) lonely. You didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so there really wasn’t anything else to say other than…

“Uh, sure. I would… try my best.”

“I will start you on easy things.” 

You both took your seats and waited for class to start up again.

“…Girls like butterflies, right? Or would you prefer to start with something like ordinary beetles?”

You closed your eyes and silently prayed for perseverance.

“Butterflies. Let’s… let’s start with butterflies.”

“As you prefer, Hotaru.”

* * *

**Goodbye**

Things were noticeably tense around the compound, so much so that even mom overlooked the continued tension between you and Sasuke. It seemed that your twin held his pride higher than he held you as he had yet to apologize even weeks later. The one-time mom did ask about it at breakfast, both you and Sasuke lied, saying you were busy with training.

Mom offered her assistance with throwing practice, but Sasuke refused, adding that it wasn’t practice but _training_. On the other hand, you accepted her offer as you usually did and said you would be home right after the academy let out.

Hurrying home, you found mom waiting for you with a smile.

Mom worked you hard that day, and a small part of your mind noted that she was touching you a little more frequently than usual, even if it was just little things like brushing her fingers over your limbs to correct your stance for the next throw. She praised you when you succeeded in a particularly difficult shuriken maneuver (the same one Itachi showed you and Sasuke), and managed to hit a target that was in a blind spot.

“Well done, Hotaru,” mom smiled, placing a gentle hand at the back of your head. “Keep it up and—“

You tensed as she suddenly whipped her head in the direction of the compound buildings. A fierce look you had never seen on her face before appeared, and you felt your body beginning to tremble in fear. She must have felt it because she looked back at you, and you saw worry in her eyes. You calmed slightly when her fingers stroked your hair.

She smiled down at you, and you could see her love for you in her eyes.

“Hotaru. My firefly.”

Then her eyes turned red, and the world went dark.

* * *

**Promise**

Itachi wasn’t surprised when his mother entered the room where his father knelt before him. Mikoto gracefully crossed the room and knelt next to her husband. She showed no surprise or anger at his betrayal, only an acceptance that cut him deeper than any blade could.

His parents told him that they were _proud_ of him. Father asked him to look after Sasuke and Hotaru.

He promised before turning his blade upon them.

* * *

**Guilt**

It was done. Of the Uchiha clan, only four remained: ‘Madara’, himself, Sasuke, and Hotaru.

As the warmth seeped from the bodies of his fallen parents, Itachi felt his heart tearing into pieces as self-loathing poured over his soul. For peace, to avoid a civil war and perhaps even a Fourth Great Shinobi War, he had slain his own clan. Izumi, his parents, his relatives, the _children_.

Judgement must befall him. Someone must make him pay for his sins.

Hotaru was too kind. She loved him too much to believe he would do even this without reason or just cause. She might not forgive him, but she wouldn’t chase him.

No, the only option was Sasuke. Sasuke would be the one who would make him pay for tonight.

And here came his judge and executioner, calling for mother and father…

* * *

**Liar**

You woke up in a strange room. It took you a few moments to realize that you were in the hospital. The last thing you remembered was… mom!

Jolting upright, you frantically glanced around the room. Neither mother or father were present, but there was a curtain hiding a section of the room, perhaps hiding another patient. Heart beating fast, you tried to rationalize what happened.

Why would mom use her Sharingan on you? In fact, you hadn’t even been aware she had them, but then again you had never asked her if she did. She was an Uchiha by birth and marriage, so it wasn’t really strange. But why wasn’t she here? Was she at home?

Confused and somewhat scared, you settled for waiting. Someone would come eventually, be it mom, a medic-nin, or a doctor, and you could ask questions then. Sure enough, it wasn’t more than half an hour before the door to the room opened, though of all people you expected to walk in, the Third Hokage was definitely last on your list.

The Third Hokage came up to your bed and greeted you. “Good afternoon, Hotaru.” 

“Good afternoon, Lord Hokage,” you replied, sounding uncertain. “Um, have you seen my mom?”

Because you wanted your mom. You wanted to ask her why she used her Sharingan on you, and why you were in the hospital. You were scared and wanted the reassurance of her presence, to know that everything was okay.

The Third Hokage was silent. Gently, he asked, “Hotaru. What is the last thing you remember?”

You frowned. That memory was quite clear. “I was practicing throwing kunai and shuriken under my mom’s supervision. Something about the compound buildings suddenly seemed to worry her. She looked at me, said my name, and then her eyes turned red. I think she used her Sharingan on me, but I don’t know why. I want to ask her. Can you tell her to come see me now that I’m awake?”

A deeply solemn look had fallen over the Hokage’s face. “Hotaru Uchiha. It is my unfortunate duty that I must inform you of a great tragedy. Itachi Uchiha slaughtered your clan and murdered both Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha—“

His lips kept moving but you couldn’t hear anything over the static in your mind. Itachi? _Murdered mom?_ No. That’s impossible. He would never. Mom was… mom was fine. Mom was alive. The Hokage was lying.

_Lying._

_**Lying.** _

_**Lyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglyinglying—** _

* * *

**Eyes**

Sarutobi was a few seconds too late in realizing that Hotaru had stopped registering his words. The young girl was almost completely still as her wide eyes stared right through him.

Then, right in front of him, he saw her eyes _change_.

Red seeped into the black until her eyes were ringed. She didn’t blink as a single tomoe appeared in each one, though by then her lips had begun to move. Channeling chakra to his ears, Sarutobi picked up what she was saying, a breathy chant that didn’t even qualify as a whisper.

“—om, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom—“

She suddenly bent over, pressing her hands against her eyes as her voice got louder.

“—m, mom, mom, _mom, mom, mom, **mom!**_ ”

She started screaming and launched herself at him, ineffectively pummeling her fists against him while screaming for her mother. Her Sharingan blazed up at him through thick lashes as she bared her teeth at him and started calling him a liar.

She was hysterical and clearly in no mood to listen to reason. By the time a medic-nin arrived, he had knocked her out and returned her to her hospital bed. Glancing over at the curtain dividing the room, he heard no movement.

Hotaru’s breakdown hadn’t woken Sasuke.

* * *

**Cling**

Reality hadn’t changed by the time you woke up again. The Hokage returned and repeated the news, but there was one small mercy: Sasuke had survived. You weren’t alone in the world.

From the time you learned that your room partner was Sasuke, you rarely let anyone draw the curtain to block him from sight. You spent most of your time sitting next to his bed, returning to yours only reluctantly and under orders from the hospital staff. At least they hadn’t put you two in different rooms.

When Sasuke finally woke up, you were the first person he saw.

You can’t imagine how haggard you must have looked to him. He wasn’t much better, likely, pale and drawn from several days spent unconscious. When you spoke, your voice cracked.

“ _Sasuke?_ ”

That was the moment he appeared to remember what happened. Something in his eyes crumbled away and you threw your arms around him, crying into his shoulder.

Sasuke didn’t cry, but he did bring his arms up to grab you tightly.

* * *

**Sister**

_Hotaru._

Itachi hadn’t killed Hotaru too.

His sister was sobbing into him and he could feel his shirt growing damp, but Sasuke didn’t care. Hotaru wasn’t dead.

_Hotaru wasn’t dead._

She hadn’t been in the room with mother and father, but at that moment he hadn’t had hope for her survival. If Itachi could so easily kill them then what chance did she have? But no, she was here, right here in his arms, breathing and crying and _alive_.

His weak arms gripped her as tightly as he could manage, and he felt her arms doing the same. They were shaking from the effort, and it hurt, but neither let the other go.

Itachi killed everyone else. Hotaru was all he had.

_And Sasuke would be **damned** before he let Itachi take her too._

* * *

**Empty**

Returning to the compound was something you would never have been able to do on your own. Even with Sasuke holding your hand, it took everything you had to step inside and even look at the place where once so many Uchiha lived.

Nearly everywhere you looked, for an instant you saw people again. There, the baker and his wife used to call out to you. Here, an old woman would sweep the street in front of her house. Over there, you could remember children smaller than yourself running around.

You could already feel your heart breaking all over again, and Sasuke wanted to show you the room where mom and father were slain.

“I can’t.”

Sasuke turned to you, hand still clasping yours even though you had stopped. There was no life on his face and his tone was bland.

“You must. If you don’t, it will haunt you, wondering where they fell. Was it in their bedroom? The kitchen? Were you standing on the spot where they fell for the last time?” He shook his head. “You must see it for yourself. You have to know, Hotaru.”

Did you really? You don’t want to know where mom fell when she was slain, not when she had been with you just moments before that.

( _the Hokage said you were found in a bush, hidden away, your mother’s last effort to protect you_ )

When Sasuke tugged your hand, your feet moved. He led you into the house and down the hall. When he came to a stop before a door, you knew that this was the place. This was where you would never walk again.

Sasuke slid the door open, and instantly you knew where mom and father died. A stain marred the interior of the room, just as similar stains had marked walls and porches on your way here.

Your knees gave out, but Sasuke caught you. He lowered himself to the floor with you as you gazed in horror at the grim stain.

You did not cry, and eventually Sasuke closed the door, cutting the room from sight.

* * *

**Blank**

All arguments between the two of you were forgotten, dust before the tragedy that was now your shared reality. Neither of you were cruel enough to fight over father’s attention, not when he was dead and unable to give it anymore. With everything gone and the ground shaky beneath your feet, your only allies were each other.

No apologies were needed, and no scores needed to be evened. This was the silent agreement between you both, sworn by the hands you clasped together.

There was little doubt that you would argue in the future. No peace or truce lasted forever.

It was just silently agreed that your fights wouldn’t be over things from Before.

* * *

**Hate**

You were too old to be sharing a futon, but anyone who said so could go hang themselves. You slept in Sasuke’s room without being prompted to, and you faced each other as the darkness of the night swallowed the compound. The Third Hokage wasn’t going to let you both stay there, but you were granted a final night in your childhood home.

You couldn’t sleep, and you could feel Sasuke’s gaze.

“ _I hate him._ ”

You didn’t have to ask who.

“He killed them all. Mom, dad, _everyone_.”

Even the babies and the pregnant women.

Sasuke’s hands squeezed yours.

“Do you know what he said? Do you know why he did it?”

You didn’t. The last person you saw was mom.

“He said he did it to test his _strength._ ”

Sasuke’s hands were around yours, and his grip hurt but you didn’t say anything.

His voice rasped on and you listened. You absorbed his hurt and his anger, adding it to your own, and you felt poison seeping into your veins as the night went on. Wind creaked the house, but there was no noise aside from Sasuke’s voice.

Itachi killed mom.

_Itachi killed mom._

_**Itachi killed mom.** _

( _his sister finally spoke, voice raw as she suddenly shifted her hands to intertwined their fingers before squeezing hard as something broke in her heart_ )

“ **I hate him.** ”


End file.
